A hap-piphany

We all have those days where everything just seems a bit crappy. Whether it’s that sinking feeling before the start of another week or you’re just feeling low/ exhausted/ a little bit sad, we’ve all been there.

When you’re feeling like that, it can be difficult to pick yourself back up again. Because everything feels bad, and you’re sad and you have no motivation.

This is exactly how I felt the other day. And then I had what I am now calling a “hap-piphany”. I was just loading the dishwasher, singing to myself (a standard evening really) and I realised: nothing matters more than feeling happy.

I realised, no matter what happens during the day, no matter what people say to hurt or frustrate me, it’s not my problem.

For some people, this might not seem like much. But, as anyone who knows me will be aware, I’m not one of those people who can brush things off easily. I’m one of those people who wants everyone to be happy (sometimes to the detriment of my own happiness, which is silly). I am painfully aware of other people’s perceptions of me and I’m super sensitive to the fact that I can’t make people like me, no matter how much I wish I could.

That is half the problem.

24 years down the line, I’ve just realised that my (slight) neurosis is probably why I’m so sensitive. So I’ve decided not to let it get to me.

This is not me saying I don’t care. Because I do. I still want people to like me, I still want to be the nice girl.

But I’m not going to let it get to me when there’s so much other good stuff in my life. I have a great job, a lovely boyfriend, the best family and friends and there are doggos in the world. Basically, there is so much good stuff in my life and I’m not going to let a few bad things ruin my happiness.

And that is a hap-piphany.