As you may or may not have noticed (depending on how much attention you pay), I haven’t written anything in more or less a whole two months. Despite the fact that I promised myself I would write far more regularly than this.
It’s been playing on my mind a lot recently, as I see so many of my brilliantly talented friends and family channeling their own creativity and passions into something they love, all whilst I’m ignoring my own outlet; AKA my very public online diary and brain dump area.
I’ve touched on it before, but the root of my sporadic-ness of my personal writing comes from the fact that I write for a living.
Of course, for work, I’m on the ball; I make sure I meet my deadlines and balance my time across different formats and subjects and whoever I happen to be writing for.
Don’t get me wrong, I love that I can do something that I have a genuine passion for, and that I’m good at, every day. For me, fulfillment at work comes from being able to generate ideas, define my strategies and tone of voice and see the results of my work in metrics that actually mean something to my business.
But the thing about being creative for a living is that sometimes it drains the creativity out of you elsewhere. As I’ve said many times, the reason I started my blog was to create content that I want to create, not things I’ve been told to focus on. And the kind of mindset I’ve trained myself to have for my work has permeated through to my personal writing too. Which kind of takes the fun out of blogging as a hobby.
I find now that I set myself deadlines for posting, which I then miss. I’m always so concerned about the next big idea or lack thereof. I’m constantly anxious about the fact that I haven’t posted for a full two months. Which, naturally, makes the fun stuff feel like work.
So, I’m rescinding my promise to post every two weeks (or whatever my last promise was), and I’m deleting my content plan. This website is an outlet for my thoughts and feelings and ideas and views. It’s not a source of income, or a full-time job, and I am going to do my best to stop treating it like that. Which paradoxically will probably make me write a whole lot more.